Archive for the ‘Adult’ Category

Well now, if your all wondering the in’s and out’s of how to get sex then you’ve come to the right place!  In all reality getting sex is not hard at all!  That’s right, it’s easy.  So where do I start?  How about with a beginning, because you want laid, and it’s highly probable that someone else does as well.  I got the idea for this post by the way from my friend Nathan during a discussion about SEO and his sobering find on Google Trends.  So this is an experiment in a way, as well as a way to pass along some of my own experiences and knowledge.

For starters if your a man seeking a woman you’ve got to face the fact that the road to dipping into some sugar wall’s is likely going to be more work than if your a woman seeking a man.  This is based on the philosophy that men are way more open to a sexual encounter with a complete stranger than a woman is.  We are like dogs in a sense, and we’d hump a leg if we couldn’t hump anything else.  So guys lets gear up and look at our options.

You could easily get laid if your willing to pay for a hooker.  However in a lot of places prostitution is illegal, and dangerous considering the STD factor.   Let me also mention that the aspect of doing a hooker in a sober ‘non drug induced state’ is…well…discouraging and dirty.  How many dicks did you just rub up against?  Gross.  If your one of the types that sits at home on his Linux box with taped up glasses picking your nose and warming up to porn late at night, no need to worry, my techniques can be applied to anyone with a willingness to get laid.  Your first step, and one of the most important steps, is to get in front of a mirror and boost your self-esteem, this may take some time, though it’s imperative to success. Women normally want a confident person to tangle with.  Being the guy sitting alone, not talking to anyone but his palm won’t bring you a one night stand.  So boost your self esteem by getting a bit conceited.

Next check your look, coordinate your attire so that articles compliment other articles, for example, black belt and brown shoes equals a ‘no no’, whereas black belt, black shoes, blue jeans equals an ‘ok’.  Theres been some controversy with brown and blue, like blue jeans brown shoes brown belt.  I don’t see anything wrong with it, it’s fine.  So now your going to want to plan a social event, get with some friends and go to a place that people drift to, this can be a concert, a bar, or a party.  No friends?  I can’t help you there, so hit up a concert or bar since they’re publicly available.  What I’m saying is you need to SOCIALIZE and not by bookmarking or tagging etc… Get around people and talk, jump into conversation. FUCK IT you see a good looking girl eyeing at you?  Go up and sit next to her and say something? Don’t know what to say?  Here is the best pickup line ever invented in the history of the human race.

Hello? How are you?

Or some variant along those lines!  What were you expecting a cheesy dirty pickup line? Yea those work too, but if your reading this article your not ready to run with the big dogs just yet. Hold your horses and get some kind of experience on this sort of thing ‘under your belt’ if you know what I mean.  That gets the ball rolling, so you need to engage in conversation, offer to buy her a drink, but don’t be overbearing or get to excited, woman can pick up on that sort of thing with a quickness.  So offer her a drink if she accepts, get it for her and find a reason you have to go, don’t stand or sit next to her for long, you’ve got to try and get her to think your out of her reach, make it challenging for her.  Women diss women on being easy, and they diss men for it too.  Unlike us men, we congratulate and praise!

Now just practice this rhythm and engage conversation more gradually and sooner than you think you should be getting a face full of poontang pie.  Of course this is all dependant on your reactions and confidence levels, and how you hold yourself compared to the competition…remember this is like the Discovery Channel, survival of the fittest, there are alpha males and beta males, leaders and followers.

Go get em.

Now for you ladies, if any of you are reading my filth.  You already likely know the drill.  Get dressed and prepped go out find a hot guy, get him drunk, bend over and your on it.  Just kidding actually.  You want a guy to like you for who you are?  Rarely does that happen and you know it, that takes time.  You’ve got to be confident, laid back, and not a cock tease with the fellas your ‘hope to be guy’ is friends with.  The rest is just fun and games.

For some more interesting information on this subject check out Nathans blogspot

http://thenthdoctor.blogspot.com/2008/10/how-to-get-sex.html

eMule is a filesharing client that connects to the eDonkey network as well as the Kad network for searches and downloads.  Anyone familiar with eMule will know of the super-vast availability of files sadly trumped by the ridiculously-long queue lists and the sluggishly-slow download times.

Another disadvantage of eMule is sometimes the files themselves aren’t what they appear to be.

There would be times when I would download a RAR file, try to open it, only to see WinRAR tell me it’s “Corrupted or Invalid”.  It happened so often that I started archiving all those files in hopes that someday I’d download some kind of magical RAR file-fixer that could fix them.

One day I just happened to be viewing my downloads folder as thumbnails for some odd reason and in a perfectly timed stroke of luck I had just happened to have just recently downloaded one of those “corrupted” RAR files; it displayed a thumbnail that resembled a video file.

To test my observation, I renamed the extension from RAR to MPG and sure enough it was in fact a video file… a porn video file.  I repeated the process through my archive of “corrupted” downloads only to find they were all in fact full length porno movies.

My archived “corrupted” RAR file of miscellaneous wallpapers was “Exploited Black Teens”, my file of assorted ringtones was  “Milf’s Need Money”, and my 3D Screensavers Pack was some amateur Asian porn starring some Asian guy with a tiny wiener.

I had amassed an enormous collection of pornography, and, for the first time in American history, a man can honestly say it was completely accidental.  It was my enormous accidental pornography collection.

Chances are, when you download a file with a very high availability, it’s not the file you think it is.  There is one surefire way to verify a file’s contents, and that is to right-click on a file that is being downloaded, click on “Comments”, then click on the “Name” tab in the dialog box that pops up.  There you will see a list of names that this file goes by on other people’s computers.  Chances are you will just see some spelling corrections of more information about the file, sometimes you will see it with numerous filenames that have nothing to do with each other.

The latter example is how you know you have yourself a Surprise Porno.

I’ve never had to download porn, because even if I wanted it, I get tons of it accidentally and very frequently. Besides, everyone knows that looking for porn online is the digital non-social equivalent to actual sex: if you don’t know what you’re messing with, there’s a chance you could get infected with something you can’t get rid of.  I would have never expected to catch one of these elusive online STDs, so I would never have imagined I’d eventually catch the digital analog of the AIDS virus…..

The second learning experience I’ve had with eMule happened very recently, last night in fact, when I got myself my first undeniable virus.

I was looking for skins for a program called Atomic Alarm Clock when I saw a listing for what appeared to be a much newer copy than the one I had. I downloaded it without hesitation, not realizing that the availability of the file was strangely high, I was just hell-bent on keeping my files up-to-date. I wasn’t really worried about anything bad happening, since the only real tom-foolery I had ever encountered was my Surprise Porn files.

I attempted to access the file when I was bombarded with a barrage of beeps emitting from my internal PC speaker; my anti-virus software was engaged in battle with a vicious foreign enemy spawned by the worst of the world’s fat nerd populous. I scrambled to ctrl-alt-del only to find every process running appeared legit. I fired up my Process Explorer and found a program called hldrrr.exe that stood out among the others. I hopped on Yahoo and learned it’s a common name for a type of trojan that wipes out your anti-virus software, downloads pretty much whatever other programs or viruses it wants to from the Internet, and has it’s way with your computer worse than a drunk boyfriend on a Lifetime TV Movie.

It was a horrible ordeal, but I ended up getting it removed with ComboFix.   OTScanIt and ATF-Cleaner aided me in identifying rogue files and giving me piece of mind by removing temp files of various types.
I highly recommend these programs, especially to a frequent indiscriminate downloader.

Flyninja is soon going to feature a section devoted to all the free software out there that everyone should download and you’d better believe everything I’ve mentioned in this article will be featured there. In the mean time, the hyperlinks you see link to the programs so you can easily download them for yourself (except for the hldrr.exe link of course, that just takes you to a page describing it).

Until next time faithful readers, have fun, be safe, and enjoy your Surprise Porn.

I was the shit at definitions and vocabulary all throughout school, and school was very boring.  Not that learning words and their meanings wasn’t interesting, just the way they were being taught by a droning teacher made my attention span wan.  Now being taught by Marina or Miss HotForWords, I would probably have gotten bad grades from drool being on my paper when I turned it in(I won’t tell you what else could be on it).  Anyways Marina is a super gorgeous blonde Philologist hailing from Moscow.  If you don’t know what Philology is, then mabey you should look it up using your local wikipedia bookmark or something.  Learning has never been so much fun!

Now I filed this post under Social Engineering. Why? Because  linguistics is a very important factor in it’s study.  You have to know how to talk to people and be believable when it comes to social interactions.  You can of course, use words that SOUND good, but actually using them in the correct manner can and will likely have better results.  Letme teach you something, I may be wrong about this word though.

FUCK

We all know what it is, we all hear it, most of us likely use it.  The word has very many uses.  However the word ‘fuck’ is actually an acronym, meaning ‘Fornication Under Consent of the King.’  Back in Kingly times when the King would throw a ball or party couples wishing to leave the event would have to get the Kings blessing or consent to leave or go screw.  Thats at least what I’ve heard.  I made no attempt to actually look it up.

I was directed to HotForWords and the sexy Marina by the game guru Britini Martini, and a Bulletin she posted on Myspace, about Marina playing the new Grand Theft Auto 4, and how she keeps killing herself with Molotov Cocktails.  She even has a lesson where she talks about the game, and where the term Molotov Cocktail comes from. Check that out.

Head over to HotForWords.com to check out what Marina is about and sit in for some of her lessons. Your sure to learn something.

You see a lot of strange stuff on television late when you stay up late at night.

Those J.G. Wentworth commercials I just recently found out are seen nationwide, I thought it was strange because the production quality was so low that it had to be local.

One series of commercials I know for a fact are just local, but deserve to be seen globally:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKVNssgvgCM&feature=related[/youtube]

Yes, those commercials are real and frequent…

But Mark Norton and his furniture store isn’t the focus of this article, it’s the gorgeous TV preacher who I constantly see when I channel surf late at night.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjfur9elFYs[/youtube]

Pastor Melissa Scott preaches in a Canadian sounding accent in front of a white board covered in insane looking scribblings on late night TV, her webcast, and I wouldn’t doubt she’s probably on at a decent hour on other channels on Sundays.

After looking at her for a split second, I realized that she’s too hott to be a TV preacher–I knew there had to be something behind the scenes…. I expected to find naked pictures of some hot chick, what I found was a bona fide internet conspiracy.

Read the rest of this entry »

Here are some of my favorite motivational posters…

I want to meet that girl, and giver mad props, and do things nobody else has done.

so true…

It’s right around the corner, and we all know what your thinking